Human
by Miss Sairas
Summary: She watched helplessly as the broken shards fell like rain. The window had shattered. implied RaeBBTer ONESHOT


Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

On with the story…

**Human**

**  
**

_Stupid_. That's the only word that could ever define me. _Stupid_. How did I even think I had a chance?

I've known you longer yet you chose her. You chose her over me. As if I wasn't there. Invisible.

------

_He held her close, tightly in his arms. "I love you."_

_She buried her face into his warm chest and breathed in his scent._

"_I love you too."_

_She watched from a far, wishing she could do the same thing..._

_------ _

She's like an open book.

These chains will keep me closed.

She has life in her eyes.

I have death.

She's a free spirit.

I'll be trapped forever.

------

"_Are she and I…?"_

"_Different? Yeah," he said, not looking at her. "A whole lot."_

_She listened closely, wishing she hadn't._

_------ _

Did I ever have a chance?

Were the signs I cherished real? Were the just illusions? Mind-tricks? _What I wanted…?_

_------ _

"_Voila!" he cheered._

"_What is it?"_

"_Breakfast! Just for you!" he smiled. A real smile._

_She did too. "…Thank you."_

_------ _

I watch you.

I watch you together. With her.

Like a sad book I just can't put down. No matter how much it hurts.

_How much it hurts…._

You laugh. She soon follows. You don't see me. But I'm there. There in the corner. Hiding in the shadows, dancing with my sorrow.

I pray each night to wake up and see your smiling face beside me. To wake up and see that I don't have to hide my feelings. No fear. No hesitation. No _her_. Just you and me.

_Bliss_.

But fantasy.

------

_Please… not her._

_Choose me. Love me._

_Not her. She doesn't deserve you…_

_Not her…_

_------ _

Tears fall. _One, two, three. _I sit down by the window, praying it won't shatter.

Don't break. I need this. I need to cry. To be human… to feel human… 

I cry for being too late.

I cry for how she can hold you with no worries when I can't even touch you.

I cry for the times I let you slip through my fingers when you were tight in my grasp.

I cry that she can have you when I cannot.

I weep that she can feel—_be_ human. And I could never feel that. _Never._

_------ _

_Make it stop…._

_They hurt so bad. Stop them. _

_More cool tears fall down_

_Burning a trail down my face._

_------ _

I look at the girl who stares back at me on the window. Tracing the sides of her masked face, wondering how much longer it's going to last, fingertips touching the cold glass.

I look and see nothing. _Nothing…_

Something no one will miss.

Someone who no one would want.

Something not worth anyone's time.

Someone who's heart would break over and over again seeing you two together.

But put itself back together each time seeing you smile. So happy. _So happy…_

With her.

_Not me_. "Not me…"

Without warning, a knock is heard and I hear a voice. The only voice who can pull me out of my own hell.

_Your voice._

_------ _

"_Don't say that."_

"_It's true…" I cried._

"_No, it's not!" he pinned me to the wall. _

_He looked down at me. "Don't ever say that…"_

_------ _

"Raven?"

_Me._

"It's Beast Boy."

_Him._

"Can I come in?"

Can you? Can you come in? 

The tears keep falling. They keep falling. _Stop falling!_ "No…"

The door swings open and you come in like a knight in shining armor.

_But I'm not his damsel. She is. Not me._

"Raven…"

"I said no, Beast Boy." I look farther away from him. _Just go away. _

"Raven."

"Leave me alone!" The window shatters. The pieces falling outside into the sea and in my room.

We stare at the scattered pieces of glass. _No…_

"No…" I cry. I fall down on my knees, not caring about the pain on my legs against the sharp ends of the pieces. _The pain inside hurts so much more._

_------ _

_It broke…_

_Just like me. Broken._

_Because of me. Just like me._

_Broken._

_------ _

"Raven…" he kneels down beside me, not caring about the shards of glass himself as he wraps his arms around me. "It's okay…"

"No, it's not…!" I sob into his chest. "It wasn't suppose to break… it wasn't suppose to!"

"Raven…"

"I needed it!" my arms tighten around him. "I needed to feel it, Beast Boy… without it breaking…"

I looked up at his blurry face, my eyes blinded by tears. "So I could feel it too…"

He looked back down at me, his eyes so sorry. Wanting so much to reach out and help me. To come in. But he can't.

I can't.

_He can't come in._

_  
-  
_

"So I could feel _human_."

**-FIN-**


End file.
